Emotional Clothing

 I've been feeling a bit far away from Earth lately. Sometimes, when I get more anxious than usual, the days blend into one. NZ's recent Covid developments have been taking up a large portion of my brain; I'm sure many of you (am I shouting in to the void here?) feel the same. 

I guess this post is kind of a sequel to the post I did called "My Wardrobe". 

In more recent years, I have realised that I have an extremely emotional response to clothing. I especially realised this this morning - I was reading this article, and started tearing up a little. Especially at the last paragraph. Why does the simple description of beautiful clothes make me so emotional? I think, that clothes are one of the few things that I have continued to find solace and peace and beauty in throughout all of the things that have happened this year. An attainable art form. They consume my life. 

I'm sure many people would agree that sometimes you wear an outfit or a particular garment and it just makes you feel different. You might feel more confident, more suited for the job, younger, older, sexier, prettier or just like yourself. This is what I mean by emotional clothing. 

There are also some clothes that you find yourself holding onto, even though you haven't worn them for years. I was trying to clear out my wardrobe the other day and I realised that I am emotionally attached to almost everything I own. Apart from the clothes I get at op-shops, I am not an impulse buyer. I keep the tab open on my laptop for weeks, if not months, before taking the plunge and buying something. I couldn't get rid of a jacket because it was the first item of clothing my boyfriend ever complimented me on when we first got together. He still thinks it's the coolest jacket even though I never wear it anymore. This is also what I mean by emotional clothing. 

I form relationships and have experiences with my clothes; I remember things and people because of what I or they were wearing. I remember being there when my little brother was born purely because I remember what I was wearing. (It was a green/pink striped zip up cardigan by the way.) I met my boyfriend because I complimented his outfit. (It was black suit pants with a red stripe down the side, with a sparkly belt, a tee that said "Psycho" and a beautiful khaki jacket, by the way.) I remember what I was wearing for my job interview at Kate Sylvester, and I remember feeling great because it was really quite similar to what the other super cute store assistant was wearing. (It was perfectly fitting dark wash Levis, a voluminous black shirt and my favourite black lace up shoes with a big silver buckle on them, by the way.) There are outfits and garments that are representative of different stages of my life and of myself. 

Emotional clothing. 

I am one of those people that likes to curate my look in order to control, or maybe predict, how others see me. I like to wear my emotions; to express how I feel through what I am wearing. I often feel out of control of my feelings, but I am completely in control of my clothes. Maybe this is why I had such an emotional response to that article. I completely understand what it feels like to see yourself embodied in an item of clothing; for it to feel like a garment is speaking to you. I'm sure there are many people that feel that too.