My Wardrobe
I've been thinking a lot lately about what clothes mean to me.
I've been struggling a bit, with all of the global issues consuming the news, and things happening in my personal life. I can confidently say that getting dressed is what gets me up in the morning. Despite the fact that life in New Zealand is now pretty much back to the pre-Covid ways, I still haven't been going out much more now that all of my Uni work is online. Even so, I get dressed, into a proper outfit, every single day. I've always known how important clothes are to me - I got a shitty job at 15 just so I could buy more - but this has really cemented it for me.
I'm smaller than the average woman my age - I can't buy a pair of pants anywhere that will fit me. I've always been told, if not ridiculed, for how 'skinny' I am (I hate that word), but my clothes have made sure that my self-esteem has never been affected by it. I love my wardrobe. I have spent so much time and money investing in it! Hours scouring the internet or second hand stores to find the perfect jumper for this perfect outfit, or hours lusting over a piece that I can't quite afford.
All of my memories from when I was a little kid revolve around the clothes I was wearing. I can remember certain things, because of that particular green and pink striped jumper, or those sparkly jelly sandals, or those gumboots that I slept in because I loved them so much. When I was 9, I decided I wanted to be a fashion designer. I used to draw dresses in this little notebook, constantly. I had dreams about the clothes I wanted to make. I got an Instagram account when I was 12. This whole new world of fashion and outfits was opened up to me. The "beauty guru" sector of Youtube had just become a thing, and there were so many girls filming 'outfit of the week' videos, and hauls. I actually started my own Youtube channel around that time (as I'm sure almost every 12 year old did) but it was fairly short lived. So I stuck to Instagram. It is still my main source of inspiration and fashion news today. Then, at about 15, I started to doubt myself. The industry was too hard to get into, it's too expensive too start my own bran, I'm not talented enough. But this was also the time that I started to get really into fashion and learning about brands. The first designer item I became completely and utterly obsessed with, was this pair of Miu Miu sunglasses - they were pink and sparkly, slightly cat-eyed, and came in a pink velvet case. I still love them. At the beginning of year 11, I moved to a different school, which didn't have a soft-tech class. My love for fashion and drive to work in the industry took a backseat over those few years. Then, when I was 16, I met my boyfriend Tom. He loves clothes too. After that, I started experimenting with my style again, but this time with no reserve and more self-confidence. I decided I wanted to be a designer again; it seemed achievable and I truly believed I could do it! I started working retail for Kate Sylvester. I have never learnt so much about the fashion industry, and ever since, my obsession with clothes and fashion has just continued to grow. I wouldn't hesitate in saying that it rules my life. I worked full time for the duration of my gap year, and had some amazing opportunities working at some of the fashion shows, which have probably been some of the best, happiest and most fulfilling days of my life so far.
This year, I moved to Wellington to study English Literature. I decided that no, I didn't want to be a designer, but I wanted to work in some other part of the industry. However, not having a degree in fashion design is not going to stop me if I decide that one day, design is exactly what I want to do. Miuccia Prada, for example, studied Political Science. Now she is the total God of the fashion world!!!!!! I wanted to learn, and I wanted to do something that was broader than just making with my hands - I'm not so good at that. So far I am really enjoying it, but I do also find that I am missing the fashion part of my life. I do a lot of reading, research and personal study in my own time, separately from my degree.
I'm not too sure what I am trying to say in this post. I guess I am at this point in my (short) life, where I can see my future spreading out in front of me, and I know where my passions and my skills lie. I know that if it doesn't involve clothes, then it's not my life. But I will complete my degree, and see what I think then.
So, for now, I will continue to get dressed. Every single day.
I've been struggling a bit, with all of the global issues consuming the news, and things happening in my personal life. I can confidently say that getting dressed is what gets me up in the morning. Despite the fact that life in New Zealand is now pretty much back to the pre-Covid ways, I still haven't been going out much more now that all of my Uni work is online. Even so, I get dressed, into a proper outfit, every single day. I've always known how important clothes are to me - I got a shitty job at 15 just so I could buy more - but this has really cemented it for me.
I'm smaller than the average woman my age - I can't buy a pair of pants anywhere that will fit me. I've always been told, if not ridiculed, for how 'skinny' I am (I hate that word), but my clothes have made sure that my self-esteem has never been affected by it. I love my wardrobe. I have spent so much time and money investing in it! Hours scouring the internet or second hand stores to find the perfect jumper for this perfect outfit, or hours lusting over a piece that I can't quite afford.
All of my memories from when I was a little kid revolve around the clothes I was wearing. I can remember certain things, because of that particular green and pink striped jumper, or those sparkly jelly sandals, or those gumboots that I slept in because I loved them so much. When I was 9, I decided I wanted to be a fashion designer. I used to draw dresses in this little notebook, constantly. I had dreams about the clothes I wanted to make. I got an Instagram account when I was 12. This whole new world of fashion and outfits was opened up to me. The "beauty guru" sector of Youtube had just become a thing, and there were so many girls filming 'outfit of the week' videos, and hauls. I actually started my own Youtube channel around that time (as I'm sure almost every 12 year old did) but it was fairly short lived. So I stuck to Instagram. It is still my main source of inspiration and fashion news today. Then, at about 15, I started to doubt myself. The industry was too hard to get into, it's too expensive too start my own bran, I'm not talented enough. But this was also the time that I started to get really into fashion and learning about brands. The first designer item I became completely and utterly obsessed with, was this pair of Miu Miu sunglasses - they were pink and sparkly, slightly cat-eyed, and came in a pink velvet case. I still love them. At the beginning of year 11, I moved to a different school, which didn't have a soft-tech class. My love for fashion and drive to work in the industry took a backseat over those few years. Then, when I was 16, I met my boyfriend Tom. He loves clothes too. After that, I started experimenting with my style again, but this time with no reserve and more self-confidence. I decided I wanted to be a designer again; it seemed achievable and I truly believed I could do it! I started working retail for Kate Sylvester. I have never learnt so much about the fashion industry, and ever since, my obsession with clothes and fashion has just continued to grow. I wouldn't hesitate in saying that it rules my life. I worked full time for the duration of my gap year, and had some amazing opportunities working at some of the fashion shows, which have probably been some of the best, happiest and most fulfilling days of my life so far.
This year, I moved to Wellington to study English Literature. I decided that no, I didn't want to be a designer, but I wanted to work in some other part of the industry. However, not having a degree in fashion design is not going to stop me if I decide that one day, design is exactly what I want to do. Miuccia Prada, for example, studied Political Science. Now she is the total God of the fashion world!!!!!! I wanted to learn, and I wanted to do something that was broader than just making with my hands - I'm not so good at that. So far I am really enjoying it, but I do also find that I am missing the fashion part of my life. I do a lot of reading, research and personal study in my own time, separately from my degree.
I'm not too sure what I am trying to say in this post. I guess I am at this point in my (short) life, where I can see my future spreading out in front of me, and I know where my passions and my skills lie. I know that if it doesn't involve clothes, then it's not my life. But I will complete my degree, and see what I think then.
So, for now, I will continue to get dressed. Every single day.
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